Tuesday. March 1
2
Miss Raymond, Y.W. State Secretary is here. They are having a cabinet meeting down stairs, but I am up here, all by myself studying and thinking.
3
We had our Y.W. meeting tonight. I helped to serve. Jean and I walked a little while afterwards. Dear old Jean, I wish I could join when she does – but I can’t.
4
Program – a mock trial this p.m. Erma, Sadie and I were over to Hoffman’s for supper. We laughed until we cried – just at nothing.
5
Went out to Compton’s pasture on a picnic. Sadie and I made houses in the sand.
6
Irma promised to come to S.S., but she didn’t. I’m so lonesome tonight.
7
8
“Nawthin’ doin’”
9
Y.W. meeting. Had to stay for Mr. Fehn. “Fun not fuss” “Came from Mr. Thourton’s Store.” I am ashamed of myself.
10
I went over to Miss Frenches tonight. My, but she is good to me. I believe she and H. and Cad are the best people I ever saw and how much I love them all. She talked about Irma and Jean, etc…. She told me a little story about herself and I just can’t answer what she wants me to, th’o I would love to please her and Jean and Hazel. I don’t mean Hazel because she wouldn’t care anyway.
11 - 16
What a lonesome, lonesome birthday!! Jean stayed all night with me. She says she is waiting, but how can I tell her. She would hate me worse than ever. I don’t see how she can like me even a little tiny bit and I don’t want her to dislike me, because I do love her so. And I could not tell her anyway. I couldn’t get up the courage and I just don’t know how. I am such a lonely little girl. If I could only see my father for just one minute. Why, oh why could I not have died instead of him? No one would have cared. And what is the use of living anyway? I could almost believe that there is no God; or why must everything be so lonesome and dark and dreary? And how could I join any church when I feel like I do? And how can I ever tell my Jean?
(Bottom of the page is torn off).
17 – 25
26
Oh dear, everything has gone wrong today. Am so tired and lonesome. Nobody loves me so I’m going out in the garden and eat worms.
27
I went to prayer meeting tonight. Miss French said something about that everything we wanted most here on earth, we would have in Heaven. I wonder if Miss Gantt and Cad will love me just a little bit there, if I ever get there which is very doubtful.
28
Cad is just the nicest, best person I ever knew. Of course I love Hazel and Jean just as much, but Cad – she sure is a dandy. Guess I am crazy over her.
29
Jean went to Miss Sweets this morning. Seems lonesome already and she had just been gone for a day.
30
Cleaned house this morning. Went to Y.W. this p.m. There were only seven of us there, but we had a good meeting, anyway.
31
Sadie and I cleaned our room. It was frightfully dirty. Jean, Suds and I went picking violets. We only found fifteen. Jean seemed awfully blue, poor kid.
